ABC WEDNESDAY...J IS FOR...JEALOUSY
I always thought jealousy was a reaction one feels when someone else achieves something great.
There is a woman in my life who fits this definition yet she's not the object of my jealousy. If she were, my feelings would make sense to me. She's wealthy, manages a non-profit, and has a great family. (In fact, I’m happy for her especially because trickle down economics means rewards for me.)
The woman I’m jealous of lives next door to us up at our cabin. She is a hateful and miserable woman but everyone is afraid to ruffle her feathers. When I drop by to visit, sometimes she just sits at her little puzzle table, looking out the window, and she chooses either to acknowledge me or not. No one, including her husband and daughter, sees this as unusual and it is accepted. This has been going on for at least six years and continues.
Thinking turn-a-bout is fair play, I tried the same tactics. She dropped by today and I kept doing what I was doing, cleaning, and only said, “good morning.” That’s more of an acknowledgment than I often get from her. As soon as she left, Mr. P shouted at me about how all females come with drama, drama, drama and asked me why I can’t be friendly to her. Many attempts to explain my position landed on his deaf ears.
Experts say: “Tell what you envy, and you reveal a great deal about yourself.” I find it deeply distressing that I would waste so much emotion feeling this way about her. I do understand why my feelings are so distressing – it is the knowledge that my jealousy is based on pettiness and nothing of substance that I can identify.
I am jealous of an insignificant woman who somehow has created a world in which she doesn’t have to adhere to social decorum.
So what does this say about me? I don’t have a clue.
Denise facilitates this meme where we all go through the alphabet from A-Z and construct a post with the designated weekly letter.