Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Pass the gin


I haven't been doing so well in the past few days. Someone mocked me at work day before yesterday and it put me in a very undesirable place inside my head. I've decided I'm way too benevolent. I am tired of people telling me that they admire how I can let things roll off my back. I've got news...I trained myself a long time ago to never, ever let anyone know when something bothers me. I learned at a young age that when you let on to others how they can "get" you, that is what they will use on you whenever they want to hurt you. So I have trained myself to never, ever let 'em see me sweat. But it hurts. Inside I'm dying. I feel the lowest when someone mocks, imitates, and humiliates me in front of people. To have to stand there and allow someone to mimic me, just because he can, just to make me look ridiculous, sickens me.

I apologize for not being able to tell all of the details in this post. I am not hiding behind anonymity so the irony is that if I post about what happened, the person who humiliated me would win. It seems to be the story of my life. There is no justice.


Snowbrush said...

I am very sorry that this happened to you. I think of mocking as the ultimate in contempt. Of course, if one sees rightly, only the mocker looks bad.

Madison said...

There's a lot of power in walking away and telling yourself that the speaker is a fool.

Kay said...

for you to save face, you have to take the high road here regardless and in the end it only makes the other person look foolish....ugh! people!?

Gaston Studio said...

So sorry you had this terrible experience. Not sure if I admire your ability to let things roll off your back because it makes you vulnerable to ignorant, insensitive people, such as the one who mocked you. But... we all have to cope in the way we feel most comfortable so maybe the "justice" is knowing you're a better person than he/she.

Whitemist said...

If they mock you, you can be assured you are much, much better than they are. People mock others when they are unsure of themselves and you are not unsure of your self.
There is always justice, but not always understanding.
And finally, it is never about winning or losing, that is what people think, it is how we carry ourselves in bad places, no matter what.

Fireblossom said...

"Just because he can." A great deal of the cruelty in the world can be traced to this simple source.