Saturday, March 14, 2009

'Cuz I'm The Tax Man'

The above picture shows my interpretation of the job description of a tax man. For every two cows they find you have, they take one cow and give it to Uncle Sam, so that he can give your cow to someone else.

As some of you may know, I recently found out that my job in the auditing field was slated for elimination due to budget cuts. I got the call yesterday telling me that my transfer into revenue recovery was approved. Revenue recovery, by the way, is what the tax man's line of work is officially called probably because "bloodletting" wouldn't be politically correct.

To this point I have gotten by without having to succumb to working as a tax man, which I consider an abhorrent waste of flesh. I think Mark Twain expressed my sentiment exactly:


"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin." -- Mark Twain

If someone had told me 20 years ago that I would end up a tax man, I would have disagreed insisting that it didn't meet my criteria for gainful employment; that it not be (1) illegal, (2) immoral, or (3) disgusting. I would have told them that I would rather live under a bridge with trolls, eat out of garbage cans, and end up dying from heat stroke. I guess the idealism of youth has been replaced by cold hard reality; times are tough, and a girl's gotta make a living, right? Or maybe I'm not thinking things through? What about dream weaving a life that I can be proud of?

At any rate, welcome, Susan, to the machine.

14 comments :

Snowbrush said...

I loved the Twain quote.

"I guess the idealism of youth has been replaced by cold hard reality..."

My first hit was that that's the excuse that jaded people always use. My second hit was that I, too, would do what I had to to survive. I think that, when you're young, you actually believe a better world is possible. When you're older, the question is whether you should succumb or get run over. Either way, the world will go on as it was.

I am sorry for what you are going through. It really sucks.

Jo said...

You know what? You have a fabulous blog! More people should find you. You're intelligent. That's very refreshing.

And you're right, unfortunately, "...times are tough, and a girl's gotta make a living..."

I read the other day there are more unemployed people in the US than the whole population of Canada. Scary times, indeed!

Shadow said...

mmm, reality's a bitch sometimes...

Pinkerbell said...

Hm, well you can weave your dreams the other 16 hours a day... the important thing is to keep the roof over your head, move into a job which is what you'll know so that you can hit the ground running. Then you can plot your escape and start digging a tunnel out of there at your leisure.

Lilly said...

Hey you got to do what you have to do. And whats that line about keeping your enemies close? Seems sensible to me. And if you cant beat them, join them right?

Joe Q. Public said...

I'd rather have a taxman that hated his/her job than someone who approached it with relish.

You're supposed to feel that way. That's what makes you human.

Chin up, this is just a temporary thing even if it does seem an interminable amount of time.

Fly me high through the starry skies
Maybe to an astral plane
Cross the highways of fantasy
Help me to forget todays pain

Ooh dream weaver

Woman in a Window said...

Oh, you dear. There will be time enough for dreams. Hold on for now and you'll make it through.

Suldog said...

Love Twain, and that quote is wonderful ;-)

Debra Kay said...

I never thought I'd be an accountant in the first place....then a SOX compliance manager...ME-enforcing compliance. ME????? I literally became the thing I hated most-for awhile. Embrace the darkside for the moment, and leave when it is time. You always have a choice.

yoon see said...

Yeah, there's never too late for dreams.
Grab hold of your time and think big!
Thanks for dropping by and leaving kind comments:)

Dave King said...

Delightfully original blog. I haven't been before, but I shall come again!

Auxiliary Girl said...

Hi Susan,
I like this blog. It's ironic isn't it... you just bought into your seniority and then they want to eliminate you? What's up with that? Anyway, do what you have to do to survive.

I had no idea that the unemployed in the US exceeds the population of Canada. That is a shocking statistic.

I believe that another door will open for you and that this is only temporary. One could hope that you are now free from the tyrant.

Pinkerbell said...

Hee hee - you did put up my "words of wisdom" at the top of your blog! Do you like to collect words of wisdom? Have you seen the quote on my site which inspired me to start writing the blog in the first place?

“Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best” (Henry Van Dyke)

Also I found one the other day from Winston Churchill which I think is easy enough to remember:
"When you're going through hell, keep going."

My favourite quote ever, and one which I carry in my heart is from an Alice Sebold book:

"You save yourself or you remain unsaved."

Here endeth the wisdomous lesson...

Fireblossom said...

LOL @ the little cartoon! I love it. Sometimes I feel like the cow on the left, sometimes like the cow on the right!